Thursday, December 27, 2007

So nice. so lazy....

Been back for about 5 days ...been so relaxing although I have been running around to do some errands but still it feels better to be back. There is continuity with things I can do with Dango...no more hurry do this cause we have limited time.

It is so nice to lie on the bed and listen to music. So lazy to get up and do my regular stuff.

Friday, December 21, 2007

I AM COMING BACK

Today is my last working day in Vietnam and tomorrow early morning I will be flying back to Singapore FOR GOOD!! It has been 6 weeks since I last seen Flabby. The previous longest record was 5 weeks. Really excited…back to my old life as I used to have…back to everything. Can’t wait to see Flabby….I can stay with her everyday. I can lay beside her and hug her anytime I want. I can share a kiss every night and every morning. WE CAN PLAY TOGETHER AGAIN! Of course I mean play sims la…play facebook la...play fartie la. We can go dinner any where we want. We can go shopping for never-ending groceries anytime. We can go for Herstory nights. We can jalan shopping centres at leisure WITHOUT needing to think when I will leave again. It has been an eventful yet boring year. Thank god the nightmare is over with everything I wanted to accomplished done and heading back home with the bonus I conned ( as put it by Flabby) and with a well paid job heading my way as I planned.

I really missed the comfort in Singapore where people can understand what Im saying.

The sufferings have finally be over and its time to reap the reward.

Friday, December 07, 2007

An article that motivates

Below is an article I find very realistic and it remind me what I have to do ...and keep doing. I can't give up. Sometimes I will be trading smoothly but sometimes I suffer losses . It is no big deal and I shouldn't let it get to me and give up.



Surviving Chaos

Why is it that some people who are very successful in demanding professions have trouble gaining confidence as a trader? Why do some people buckle under pressure, yet others thrive on it? Perhaps because markets are often unpredictable and uncertain; causing some to act impulsively, abandoning their trading plans prematurely. Traders, who are able to weather the storm to make enormous profits, have a combination of characteristics that make them winning traders.
Of course there is no substitute for experience. The winning trader has experience with the markets and with his or her own personality. New traders are very much like beginners learning a new sport, such as skiing or tennis. They haven't experienced the variety of events that may come up. They see the market as a structure of random movements. The winning trader sees structure in what others see as chaos. Over time, comes an intuitive feel for the markets. They can sense when particular market conditions have emerged and they know that the odds of success are on their side.
Uncertainty is anxiety provoking and new traders succumb to the fear. When they are ready to put on trades, they aren't calm and focused; they are scattered and afraid. Winning traders, in contrast, have experience, and confidence. They know that the odds are in their favor, and that if they make enough trades under these ideal market conditions, they will come out ahead. Since they know that in all likelihood that they will succeed, they are calm and relaxed. Of course there are no guarantees, but they truly believe that it won't be the end of the world should they hit upon a series of losing trades. Should they encounter the worst-case scenario, they know they will live to trade another day and make the losses back.
When a trader has genuine trading skills, he or she knows that there is little to worry about in the long run. He or she is never stressed out. The uncertainty and unpredictability of the markets that produces stress in the new trader is seen as excitement and opportunity by the skilled, seasoned trader. The more trades you make, the more success you enjoy, the more likely you will gain experience and hone your trading skills. It will not happen over night, but it will happen eventually. In the meantime, you might as well accept your fate and patiently wait until you build up superior skills and confidence. If you stay optimistic, working hard, you will gain valuable market experience, and survive the chaos.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Finally here comes the end of the year....

December is finally here....I am looking forward to it for more than 1 reason. Firstly of course is I am going back sg for good..another reason is that Dec 11 was a day in astrology that is supposed to meant something. In fact, I am mixed about Decemeber as it is the most eventful month in terms of cosmic activities : many planets are moving in December and with so many of them moving, the cosmic sky is anything but peaceful. There will be good as well as bad things and they will certainly not go unnoticed thats for sure. I guess all we can do is just be more careful in everything we do.

The crossing of a New Year also cast a dark sky as Mars meet Pluto. Mr Aggression meets Mr Death. War? Terrorism? Hmm....

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Sleep too much....

Wake on Sunday with something like a headache. Think I slept too much over the weekend...was lazing on the bed and take my HP to clean out inbox cause its getting full. Was reading all the smses that the now "flabby" sent me. All the way since I moved to Vietnam. Can't imagine that it is November now..I won't say how times flies cause it wasnt a easy 8 mths so far...but when I looked at the messages and the date they were sent, they felt recent. Maybe cause everything around me is still the same.

But glad I'm going back soon although still got 2mths to go...but much better than 5,6,7 mths before. Another thing that I observed from reading the smses is also from " dear cutie fatty bom bom" , I am now only "fatty" ... hmmm... that is what Time and Distance do to relationship.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Local Context ...

...... in Sg of course... What I mean is that this morning after seeing the landlord wasn't back last night, I proceed to make a cup of nice coffee and bring out Sg newspapers to read and remember to click to taiwanese variety show channels. Usually I just read papers abit before going online but today I really read slowly and with chinese speaking programs on the TV, i really for the 1 hour, seem like transport back to the time when I was still living in Sg...so noslagic...ahhhh...very soon I would be able to do that for as much as I want!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Inspiring Quote

Not sure did I remember to post this previously but it make very good sense.

" Those who take risk will earn the big houses and cars for themselves whereas those who dare not take risk will always work for those that who dare"

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Long time no update..

It has been some time since I lasted blogged and so many things have happened or progressed nicely. Most importantly , I coming back SG soon! Ex employer finally realised how they have screwed up and is desperate for me to go back and is willing to pay for my 2 mths notice when I resigned in late Nov after I get my bonus. They would be willing to pay for my bonus too if it hasnt been too big for them..keke. Been Quite tired with the constant up and down feelings associate with leaving and going back SG. Very hard on relationship as I don't stay long enough to spend quality time.

Been back sg last week and it was a short trip only but in Nov I will be coming back for 5 days and after that, I believe it will be a breeze cause Dec will be more like a holiday month for me as I will go to HK for the company trip then I believe straight back to SG. Oh..shitty...luggage could exceed limit..hmm..been carrying stuff back to SG during my monthly trips and I guess I need to carry more back duing Nov..hmm..

Another progess is my trading. Now looking at a potential client who want me to trade for him and share profits. And with me going back to my old company , he will be opening an account with me. Well..tats my role anyway as a Sales Trader - to make clients trade. US trading is also progessing nicely as I gets into the rhythem ...small but steady while Sg trading is big but unsteady.

Back in Vietnam, experienced their worst ever flood. My office building was basically surrounded by water and there is not walking out as people was trapped. But I was determined to get to higher land to get a cab home and waddle through knee high water carefully in order to find the kerb to step down and step up. Thinking back , it was quite dangerous as I was carrying my lapstop. If I tripped, I wld be totally drenched with my haversack. Anyway , I managed to scurry home only suffering a small cut on my finger.

Today was a lazy Saturaday. Quite glad that I could sleep till 10.30 am cause usually Im up around 7am. Last week have been waking 6am practically everyday as I need to go office early. Guess Im exhausted as well. The morning breeze today was very nice. Makes me feel like I'm in SG...really can't wait to go back to SG and start living normally again with Dango.

2 more months to go! =)

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Taiwanese shows..

There was no good shows on TV so I just flip channels to those that I never switched to before and I came upon those taiwanese funny variety shows...Really reminds me of the times when I just know Dango and often go over her place and we will cuddle and laugh at these stupid funny taiwanes antics... Really missed those times...But I will be back soon...really think I'm dying here...

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Seminar day come and gone..

Yippee...was just back from the lecture I gave at the office on a Saturday morning. Was dreading this day from the day I was requested to do a seminar. Anyway , it went very well with a free lunch pizza galore thrown in. I must say that the company have always been very generous with employee welfare.

On the way home today, I was alot of expats family..husband and wife and sometimes with a kid thrown in..going on with their family outing on a weekend. Looks so nice. I was wondering if I have Dango with me, maybe living in vietnam wouldn't be such a dread. It is really not where you are but who you with. Same goes to when going on tour. Makes me miss Dango who is enjoying herself in Bali on her company trip. I will have a company trip to HK in dec too...heee.

Maybe its today rainy weather, makes me abit nostalgic. I thought about the old times when i was younger, seem everything was so nice...tour with family. Maybe I miss my family life ... spending time with sis and mum. Maybe Im really getting old cause I keep missing younger times...oh dear....

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Stilfed

Feel like I wake up from the wrong side of the bed this morning. Everything just feel so bleak. Tired of everything I'm doing. Feel that I'm wasting my life while other people are having a great time. Feel so breathless but yet there is no recourse..just ranting I supposed. Don't know what I'm going to do for next year and the next 10 yrs...

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Going back soon...

While walking outside today...I suddenly miss bom bom..ya ..the two boms boms back in sg.. Just miss being with them and playing with them etc etc and cant wait to be back ....yippee..going soon!!

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Finally , going back for a break..

Going back sg on Tues for 6 days...finallly after 6 long weeks. It had been tedious this time, really going to go bongkus anytime. Can't wait to spend some good times with dango and fartie.. =)

Really been tired..mentally exhausted about trading. Maybe it was myself that was looking for new ways and end up trouble. Things was fine so what people like to meddle with things that aren't broken?? I dunno...idleness is the devil workshop i supposed. Damn it. Maybe i was too eager to get some fast success.

Workwise is actually getting better compared to the times i just came here as least people is starting to give more recognition and respect.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

What a difference a week make....

This weekend felt particularly lethargic...and down..maybe its pms.
Ran so slow in the morning that I felt I was going nowhere. Can't remember when was the last time I encounter the same thing..maybe back in 2005?

Was thinking about checking with boss whether I can go back sg. But the chances that he will prompt is what I'm doing now. Either he will scout around work that need to be done ( which are many messy things) or he will think they no longer need me. I doubt the latter cause they still need someone to oversee the dealing desk portion of the new software but nothing much need to be done. .Its already near Aug..just 3 to 4 more months I will be free, not sure whether I should risk my bonus now. If I go back to sg without bonus or work waiting for me, I think there will be more bickering to come instead of less. Trading was ok..if talking of it as investment, I'm doing well. But not in terms if I want to live off it. It will be passable, but not ideal. *sigh*

I'm tired... not sure exactly what is it... just tired.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Fireworks...

Been back in Vietnam about 1 week...still remember how last Sunday we went to have prata for breakfast then went to petfarm to shop then Bedok to eat...so nice. It was a relatively more pleasant trip this time round. Finally to get to see mini fatty bom bom real life...so cute...especially the sound she made when she ran passed us. Haha...cant wait to play with her again.

Dango mentioned last night there was fireworks and it reminded that must be the NDP rehearsal. However , it was only this morning that i remember how we passed last year NDP period. I still remember we met after work at Marina Sq to watch fireworks and only missed 1 or 2 performances. Unfortunately, this year, I think probably we will missed many since I'm only back 7 Aug. *sigh*... but good thing is that I be back for about 6 days.

Work wise, I think July will be more eventful and maybe my benefactor have finally appeared. I have the possibility of running a small fund myself and if successfully impressed with the results, I will have the bargaining power to request to come back to Sg and still can trade for them. Trading have been relatively stable since I discovered the Map and hope things stay this way.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Busy week...

This week passed by fast. Everyday is wake 6am ,rush for the morning meeting..monitor sg trades. Analyse US trades. Do report. Go prop team meeting. Finish US research. Start SG analysis. Go home, no time for dinner, prepare for US trading. Finish up SG analysis. SLEEP.

This is why I love my weekends jus lazing at home. Sadly these two days haven't been sleeping well. Think its the silk bedsheets and over hyperactivity. Really miss going out with Dango and relaxing. The most is 6 more months to go. Can't wait to see cookie also...v fast 2 more weeks and I'm back in sg again....

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Cookieeee

Its the 1st weekend after I came back from Singapore on monday..finally a time for me to catch a breather. So much happening....the markets going crazy; more work to be done in the office etc ...and of course Dango bought COOKIE! She is so adorable when I see her on webcam and cant wait to play with her real life but I think she will be very wary of me.

Its good that Dango now have cookie to entertain her and I think she won't miss me liao and everyday she will be missing cookie at home....*bleah* But the real thing is that now I know why people say long distance relationship is really hard, even with msn or skype , things are still hard cause nothing actually replace face to face conversation and physically togetherness. Many miscommuncation over msn cause one can't see the face or know the tone of words written.
But hopefully things will at least be better or maintain till I get back end of the year..6 more damn mths. Hmmm....too bad that I can't shop with dango for Cookie stuff ...but when I come back , we can bring our pet kid to jalan and patoh..haha....

Sunday, May 20, 2007

The reminds me of.....

Watching the celebrity Journals show on Travel and living featuring Marisa Tomei..reminds me so much of Dango : long dark hair, fair fair skin and dark set features....just the type I like. Made me miss her ...miss her antics..miss the way she moves, the way she eats...especially the old times with her long hair...Hmm..guess next time when I go back..her hair will be longer ... =) ~~~

BIG rice cracker...


Saw this a few times but didn't really tempted to buy cause it looks plain to me till a colleague bought and let me try.It was clean and crunch cause its not fried but hot airpoped i think. They eat it with meal dishes sometimes too.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Another long time classic ....

Been sometimes since i posted classic things that you say ( on msn ) that make me laugh.....

Scenario :

Been chatting about my trading and the market going down.....

She says:hmm...... then u better stop playing for a while...
She says:if not i think i will have to cut up moo and meh for us to eat liao..
Finque says:eat wat?
finque says: cottom balls ah?
She says:eat the furs...

Sunday, May 13, 2007

My bedside table....


Was just lazing on the bed on a lazy Sun afternoon and with my hp handy , just thought I take a pic of my junky bedside table.
Hmm...my "timing" can't be more "auspicious" hor...

A Wonderful start to a Sunday....

Had a very nice sleep last night...one of the rarer ones cause usually I will wake around 6am due to the bright sun and noise. But I had a very restful sleep last night and only rouse around 9.30am and nice to lie in the bed awhile before I head our for a run. Weather was nice too..not too sunny and not raining cause it has been raining the whole day yesterday.
The greatest part is that I fried bacon for breakfast...heavenly smell. Glad I changed my mind about cooking tastless mifen again. The next best thing is to watch my favourite show on Travel & Living introducing Perth while having my nice breakfast and siping iced coffee. Hmm... I didn't know Perth suburban actually had some very good beach. Nice...will make our way there...will enjoy the long drive with Dango... Hmm..miss Dango particularly this weekend though...hmmmm

Friday, May 11, 2007

Need to clear my jagged thoughts....

Finally Friday is here. It is so sad to live this way to keep looking forward to weekends...alone.

Been thru a traumatic day..cant imagine the panic that kept gripping me today from night till lunch till end. And I simply don't understand the people here.. It is so messed up..maybe only for me. Cause I like things to be predictable and certain.

But there are nice people here....but I am just not in the mood for anything but to get my trading on track. It is right in concept but needs fine tuning execution wise. I see people and I wonder why I can't enjoy life as they do. .,...

Miss dango...but she is out dating The Phantom. Hmmm....

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Cooling day ..surprising

Been back since weds after spending 1 week with Dango...Time really flies after last friday..weekend just zoom by...everyday with Dango was great...had all my fave food while i was back ...think i gained a few pounds.

Sentosa was ok and the Luge was fun cause I WIN DANGO...haha...even when I stopped to wait for her, I STILL win her. *bleh*


Office was as dreadful as before..but at least I make it to another week.
Good old weekend..lucky for me today was a cooling day as it rained abit in the morning...but before that it was as scorching as ever when I did my run.

Hmm...watch a nice show on tv and slowing doing my analysis...peace.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

ELLE

Just read an article in ELLE May copy called "Skinny Fat" and its says when the fats began to form at your waist and cause you to have a thick waist is because you are stressed. No wonder I have a pot belly although I'm generally slender. It says for normal weight gain, fats will go to the bum and arms but for me, its always the belly. And to make things worse, when stressed, people ( me included) tends to go for fatty food which made things worse. And the solution, to chill out. Yes, to simply relax. No wonder when I'm more relaxed, I tend to eat less of those snacks at night. Hmmmmm.....

Then, it says laughing , sleep , hugging and kissing will reduce stress...hmm...hvn't had much of those since I was here. Hmmmmmmmm....no wonder Dango also complains that she seem to be have thicker waist..we are suffering the same symptoms. With Dango initally....was relaxed no matter what...but stress builds up when one grows older it seems....Hmm...have to think of ways to chill out.

A cafe called Peaches

In a cafe near my apt called Peaches. Heard that it was opened by a Singaporean and it sells Chilli crab. A set of Chilli crab with watermelon juice is only $5 SGD. Maybe I will try it later.

Was intending to have a quiet day at home till my landlord says he is coming home with some friends to cook. Didn't feel very comfortable so I came out but to see them talking so lively in the living room, bitching about another friend of theirs and little things make me long for such gathering. I have almost forgottern how its like to hang out with people. There are ABC gal and an chinese australian guy. They looked cool people with foreign accents and all and somehow I feel I can't fit into them. Been feeling this way since I arrived here. Last night dinner with the huge bunch of people are the same. There are singaporeans, americans, and many viet kieus but to me its more like business networking. I just feel that I might not have change my mindset to fit into the upper class living here. Actually if work is somehow to my liking as well as leave me alone to do my things, the living here is actually good when you are an expats. That is what i suspect what draws those expats here. *sigh* There are really many opportunities here cause things are quite lacking in terms of talented skills. I could easy set up a website doing stocks..if not you have the right people. The locals do not have the skills which is where the viet kieus come into the picture. Its a slow process. To live here and use their cheap resources is good, to work with them is another thing.

Sometimes I feel so doomed. Like why can't I like other people. I seem to avoid people. To totally shut them out. I was thinking was I always like this? In secondary school? In JC? I seem to be suddenly so withdrawn.. Is it normal that I don't feel the need to be in the company of people? Or is it at my age , its norm to not being able to make friends easily. Or maybe I so used to be alone that I'm more happy being alone. But yet on 1 hand, I know its not good but maybe I have lost the skills to talk with people. Or maybe its the price to pay to be able to strike gold. With my trading, it really enables me to make a very good living without depending on anyone at all. Maybe my personality seeks out a vocation like trading or is it trading that make me a hermit...hmmmm...

Saturday, April 14, 2007

THE SAHARA DESERT


This is taken on my way back. See those tall buildings? My apt is ard there...that's how far I walked from this afternoon under the scorching sun. Lucky I waited till sun set to walk back or else I think I will be cooked halfway on the highway back.

Lazy sweaty saturaday.....

Woke up and had my run as usual....it was nice to finally have a nice cup of coffee while watching Tavel & Living introducing Best Beaches... *daydream* Then while channel surfing, a movie caught my eye and lucky I continue watching as its the movie CASINO..it was good..capitavate me that I delay going out of the house to the cafe even though it is damn hot in the apt. Got a msg that I will be alone till night anyway, so no hurry to go to the internet cafe. The show is kind of like showing how a mafia group who actually have a good thing going with so much money coming in but everything just fall apart when greed and idlness come into the picture. I was more interested in how the mafia boss treated his wife , a ex hooker so nice with so much money and jewelleries but still she want to hang around another useless man. Hmm...

I heard there was a Highland coffee at dist 7 where I lived and I was curious to where is it as it could save me from going downtown everytime. So I asked around and people point me to a direction, giving me the impression that its not far. Yeah right, I am in that cafe right now and I felt I just cross the SAHARA DESERT! Really...I think they feel its very near cause they are all refering to scootering. Hmm..anyway, I thought the cafe will be deserted since on the way I don't see many people but I'm wrong. Its so strange that people will find their way to civilizationh some how some way. It is not as crowded as in the downtown where I have to wait for a table. Well, like me, I think many people would kill for some airconditioning.

I was thinking that exactly a week ago, I was still with Dango ...and we had breakfast at Boon Keng ..carrot cake and chwee kueh...hmm..so fast...but in another 10 days, I'm going back again. But I worried that after April, it might not feel as fast. Haiz...

Think I will take my super slow speed and do my things...

Friday, April 13, 2007

Can't help it...

About 1 hr to knocking off in the office, but I have been having wandering thoughts since afternoon. Usually I will blog only during the weekend cause that’s when I have plenty of time to kill.
Anyway…I keep thinking times when I am with you… like going places during the weekend.. then I also think about last weekend when I came back.. and I remember how we kissed … and kissed. Hmm… hope to have more of that soon.
( ) ___ ( )
( ^ oo ^ )
---->! <-- Saliva

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Yay yay...counting down to HOME

Tml taking a morning flight back to SG to be with Dango for 3 days!! So happy...looking so forward to it.

Was at a clinic doing medical checkup when it reminds me of times in sg...whenever, whichever is it...be it a man by a lorry..it will remind me times in sg when i see such scene. Cause maybe the clinic has angmo, japanese etc and they all communicate thru English as if its very normal. It is a comforting scene I suppose, so much so as it reminds me of SG.

While walking back, I passed Rex Hotel. Remembered that time when Dango came with me and she told me her dreams about Rex Hotel. Hmmm...can't wait to cuddle with her while watching DVDs I bought here...it will be like old times. Ahhhhh.....can't wait! CAN"T WAIT!

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Finally moving to apt...

Just checked out of the hotel and I'm going to move into the apt I'm sharing with a colleague's friend later on. Meanwhile in a cafe, killing time.

Got some photos to post for this week as usual.





My sandal seem like giving way any moment so lucky I remember I saw this pair of shoe near the Russian Market. The Russian market is actually just a floor of few shops in a 3 storey high Lucky Plaza. They sell mostly sports wear that are mainly fakes i think as well a shop selling thick winter wear. I bought this pair not at the Russian market, but just 2nd floor the plaza. There seem more things..and wow, I saw a very nice Bugalri watch that I think I can get it at about $40SGD..really cool but I don't know whether I should buy anot hmm.....something wrong with my Bygalri spelling I know. Wait for Dango to correct me ...




Saw this pack of sugar cane at the supermarket one night after work and bought it cause its a long long time since i chew on sugar cane! I think it was the last time I went to China with my mum in 1993... Anyway, I finished the whole pack at one go and felt like sugar overdose like that..not a good feeling though. 20 cents of cheap thrill.






This is the packet of something that looked like small tomatoes but they are not. Kinda nice..never ate b4 and it came with a small pack of their usual dip w fruits- salt+ chilli+sugar .









I also had a swell time opening up a coconut with my trusty Daiso knife in my hotel toliet sink! It was good though but after finishing the whole coconut I was pretty dizzy..... It cost 60cents only.











Hmm..but overall this week is not good. Don't know why..just feel very bad, like depressing like that. I'm no longer feeling cheery about things even though I try. I just feel very sian and sickening. At office is like the locals can't seem to be able to carry a decent mutually understandable conversation. So much so that I don't try to talk often. No doubt they feel I'm anti-social but I find that I don't care. Not that they are not important but I find that I too tired to care. I was supposed to go Hanoi for 5 days training but cause I'm coming back to SG next fri , I can't go and the boss seem not too happy about it. Just too bad. But I also don't know whether I should go. It have nothing to do with my present job BUT if I intend to join the other company in 2 months, then the training will be good for me.But now I don't even know where will I be then.



Was thinking in bed after being rudely woken up by the music in the hotel this morning whether it was a right decision to come vietnam anot. If given a chance, I think I would think or at least plan things abit differently. 1st of all , the bonus I gave up is only worth it if I hang in vietnam till year end, if not, I would have been better off to hang in there in my old company for 1 more mth plus then quit and shake leg. I should have asked for a signup bonus and at least things didn't work out, I can go back without regret. But I thought the exposure would be good, as I'm stagnating in sg. And the money is matching providing I get the bonus at the end of the year. But if I don't find a way to see things differently, weekdays are going to kill me. On the other hand, I try to imagine will I be happier in SG if I go back without a job...hmm..

Even though I'm 1 week closer to meeting Dango after 1 month of separation, I don't feel as cheerio as last week. Maybe I'm pmsing. I also think coming down with something. But of cos I'm happy to see her, I think I'm just blogged down by current state of things.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

A short entry in e middle of the day

Just feel so stale. Not that there is nothing here to interest , but I just feel dead. No interesting conversation here. Either with people who don’t understand what you talking about , if not, its about work culture and ambitious. I miss the talking about rubbish and nonsense with Dango. Like what she said , a nice chat. A nice chat about anything at all is a nice chat. Just watching tv is nice with Dango. Now? Got many shows on cable here, but its just so boring to me. Just to get by another day to me. I feeling more and more tired day by day, by the idiocracies here and a lack of intelligent conversations. And very soon, my isolation will be taken as a sign of weakness and to be mocked at. Seriously I think Vietnamese are persistent people…in a way stubborn and impatient but they do want to get things done fast. However, the irony is that they are impatient when they don’t know what you are trying to do or say – especially when you are trying to tell them their mistakes. When they finally realized it, they will just laugh. Well, nobody is laughing with them though.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

So tired......and doggies galore!!!

Back in a internet cafe after a hiatus of 2 weeks. Thought my time in internet cafe are over once I moved into a apt but who knows Im on the move again barely after 10 days of stay cause my roomate didn't manage to continue the lease on time ....Don't think she knows what she wants. But it could be a blessing in disguise cause if not, I think I need to put up with her even longer! Can't stand the stinking sink with all her unwashed dishes as well as needing to fight with her for internet. And with the maid only coming once in a week, the place is actually pretty messy and unkept.

Anyway, I found a room at Phu My Hung today sharing with the guy owner recommended by a colleague. It's cheap and good considering he is hardly home plus there is no lease involved, thats what I like best. BUT the room is only available after 6th April, so meanwhile I have to find some place to stay temporaily. I went to the backpacker district where I stayed with Dango during out last trip. I thought I could make it. But after looking at a few, climbing the forever endless stairs, my legs are actually wobbly already. The cheapest I can find with what I need decently is $13 USD a day. Considering I need to stay 10 days, its $130USD. However, the environment kind of put me off. It like walking with a $#!@ target on my forehead with biketaxi drivers harrassing non-stop. The only good things is that the food options there are endlless as well as cheap laundry. Laundry is one of my main concern but if I can put up with 15 days of no laundry serivice previously, I'm sure I can put up with 10 days. Oh yah, surprising is that the lady at theYellow House Hotel remembered me as I stayed there 4 mths ago! I thought she won't remember me but she did. I still like her English..it is so hard to come by. Sometimes I readlly can't stand their English. My other option is the hotel near my present apt now. It's $15 USD a day but the environment and condition are better with wireless internet so I don't need to fret over internet everynight. It's quieter also as it is an expat district. And when I moved to the guy's place, it will also be more convenient. I think I will move into that, and I will take a look at their rooms when I get back today.



Ok, back to what I wanted to post which I can't cause the neighbour wireless seem to anti blogger.com.
This is their "Bao" , I scout for 1 for my lunch one day and it cost $1 sgd but it's huge. Not bad..with a salted egg inside with the meat somemore.



One day, another colleague gave out these around our dept..Hmm..those brown "big peanut" lookalike is actually tamarind. Its nice. They are sold in SG too but they would have taken the flesh inside out and packaged them instead of the raw form. This is the 1st time I see how Tamarind looks like. The green "dumpling" is actually meat w gluttonious rice but it taste quite horrible. Hm btw when they say with meat, it usually mean meat fats. Horrible again.
I also saw how dragon fruit plant is grown. Have you even though is dragonfruit grown on a tree or wat. It is a strange looking plant but too bad I don't have the picture.




This is one of the grocery trip result. Guess how much for all these - half a pineapple and 3 yogurts? $1.20 sgd.






The pug in e cage is at one of the aquarium shop near my apartment. Its quite cute actually when you go near it cause it's wagging its tail nonstop. Dango says his eyes too bulging..hmm..I thought all pugs got bulging eyes...


I encountered the white dog during my early morning runs. I guess it belongs to local cause it looks unkept and it was running around freely. When it 1st saw me, it was wary as I stop to take a picture of him. The funny thing was that when I did my 2nd run throught the same street, he saw me from afar and ran towards me. We are like running towards each other like a lovers like that...but when it gets near me, he stopped and wait...haha. The 3rd picture is just of a owner walking 2 dogs in the morning. One is a chihuahua which I think too small in the picture, the other looks like a spaniel mixed.

ok, that it for all pictures at the moment.
I quite like the current cafe as its very normal for a single person to plong down and suft net and no one would raise an eyebrown. In sg, I think they would look at you when you come in alone and sit for long.
OH yah, I also bought our favourite "carrot cake" when I passed Ben Thanh market today. the shop now is like quite popular with tourists stopping for a taste. I haven't eat it yet, I'm going to bring back and add an extra egg and heat up in the microwave. Yum yum!!
I went into the Ben Thanh market as I try to see if I can get a pair of pumps but its too hot and I was so tired so I gave up after awhile...
Hmm...hope to be able to chat with Dango tonight...









































Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Early morning pictures...


Just kena suan whether I know what is keh keh....Huh..if I dunno..hw I keh keh the previous night ....=PP




The ice cream I bought came in a styrofoam box..cute. Iniatlly i tot it was cheap $1.5sgd for 450ml..then later I realised their yogurt cheaper ..and nicer too. The durian ice cream taste was so fake....









When running this morning around my apt and saw a korean lady walking her two dogs. This is a rare sight cause having pets is that not well known idea in vietnam..at least for the locals. One is a chihuahua and the other seem to be like a big pomenarian...







This is one of the many nicer houses I saw in my runs...... You might think many people lived in a house like this...you be surprised cause it could only be 1 person








Sunday, March 18, 2007

Some pics





Went to a bigger supermarket in the evening today...on the way I saw this...no prize for guessing what this shop sells ..






Then this is my "condo" seen from afar...look like tampines dango says...












In my apartment....free show...

Moved in on last Thursday with a fren who is kind to share her flat..for a price of course. Was telling Dango that I have something to blog about living with my roomate -- someone brought up in holland...

1st night here got a shock when she started changing into very short short and wear spagetti without bra...I try not to appear surprise and avoid looking at anything. But ever since the 1st night, it like I have seen her naked breast everyday cause she wears skimky nitegrown everyday. One way or the other without even trying. hmm.... I think I'm the envy of every man. Good looking girl ..good body..although not voluptous but very slim..hmm.. but it did nothing to me leh...

We gotta move by end of march again..so if i can find a nice apt near here, i rather stay alone..its not what but jus feel restricted in some way. Hm...

Thursday, March 15, 2007

1st night at my new place

Tonite will be my 1st night at the apt I'm sharing , at least for 2 weeks, with a flatmate. Don't know how it is gg to be...Thk I might be happier if I'm back alone. Hmm.... I got no bedsheet...irrittaing....

Hm...sometimes I wonder did I make the correct decision to come to vietnam. Thought about what I gave up....sigh...good and bad i guess....if I didnt need to give up something, one also wouldn't know.

I thought my times staying in hostel for 3 yrs is worse..but I dunno ...maybe the older one gets, the hard it is. Hostel technically is worse off...hmm..3 yrs summore...but i here only 2 weeks...maybe tats why.

Argghh...hope tonite got water

Saturday, March 10, 2007

What i miss....

This morning after my breakfast as I lay on the bed watching tv... i start to remember how I feel before I doze off last night - I start to remember things...I think one will find one tries to remember things...Just thinking...I start to remember the weekends morning where we drive to eat prata... It's not just the memories of what we did...but I was trying to remember how I felt then....your each expression, your each word... Those are what is going to accompany me now. And sometimes I panic when I can't seem to remember... can't remember the feelings that comes with the memory.


What do I exactly feel now? I don't really feel homesick ..yet. Cause if I do now, I think things are going to be tough for me. For me now, I see only how 1 week pass then at the end of the week, I will feel more relieved that there is less 1 week to go till 6th April.
Anticipation is good but too much will only build up for a disappointment. I felt that I am trying to empty my brain. You know, just get to the routine and refusing to spend time thinking. It doesn't help when the work is not that indulging. TV at night is getting abit boring.
Life here is not very different from life in SG when I come to think about it. I don't go Orchard very often either so its not the shopping. I miss being together with you. I miss being understood. I miss being naughty with you. I miss talking rubbish with you.

I'm socialising more than when I was in SG. So in a way, I don't think I will be alone. And with chores to be done, I don't think I will be bored for long. But there is a thing inside nagging..... not sure what is it.




P.S As I was dazing in the cafe writing this...( I learning to slow down...) , I notice something interesting : the cafe ( similar to Coffee Bean in SG) offer valet parking for scooters.

Friday, March 09, 2007

1 week had pass

Just a post at the end of a working week..
The people here are quite well fed in this company..12pm sharp everyone go for lunch…and they have a nice pantry where there is coke and orangina ..and plenty of milk. Did I say they are heavy milk drinker? Yup they are…
Then Friday they have snacks for everyone…today is bubble tea and coconut jelly…its something like curd of partly coconut milk n water…nice..i tried abit out of a colleague’s.

Then I still haven’t found an apartment. Got a misleading tip n took a wrong bus and end up in dist 5!! Idiot! Then keep postponding till Sunday. Going to meet some Msia gals on Saturday. Hmm…

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Yay..photos are up...

In a cafe on a lazy saturaday afternoon. It is fine except that I forget to bring the adapter plug for my laptop! Haiz.......got a good place in a fancy cafe summore..but I think I shall leave the cafe to go back hotel soon enuff..worse, forget to bring my book. With a book , at least I can still kill some time. Anyway below are some pictures I have taken with my trusty W800i hp

This is the view of my hotel room on the 1st night, right across the street is my office. The other picture is my hotel..renovated recently.


This was my 1st dinner in HCM. Was just walking around when I see people eating this..initally i tot its porridge cos i see the you tiao..but its mee tai mai ! not bad...with a big chuck of meat inside . And of cos with me adding lots of chilli. Their chilli are superb. Cost 14,000 dong ( equivalent $1.40 SGD) I was lookin for porridge but settled for this as its where the local eats.
I was let off early from visiting my office. Dunno what they ask me there to do what..waste of time . Anyway I walked around my office and realised there was many things there. There was a wet market..yaya surprising right...its like wet market in raffles place. Anyway, found a shop finally to buy a sim card..thats impt or else no one can contact me. But their mobile plans are confusing enough. Its like a prepaid card which got a daily fee but after that you can change a card which will do away with the daily fee? Hope so.






This is the lobby which I chatted with Dango everynight..Cant get connection in my room so no choice have to come sit in the lobby. There is a free wifi but the lobby is abit smoky and with mosquitos. That is why i feel its becos of these that we always end up quarrelling cause Im irriatted by the mossies....Last nite was better chat cos I was armed with Tiger Balm but connection was lost halfway..so had to end the night chat early.




Here is the cafe which I chatted with Dango on the 1st weekend. I'm currently in another cafe ( pics to be uploaded later). It not a bad place, hippy. Where the hip people hangs out apparantly. Wifi here is very popular and alot of people bring their laptop here to surf. That night had dinner with the 1st msia gal I met here, Sue. Dinner was at an Indian restuarant. Well cheap compared to Sg ..its cost about $8 SGD per person where in sg , it will probably cost you $15 at least bah. But after that, she suggested a coffee at Hyatt. Wow...its not so so environbment ...typical 5 stars hotel but it cost $6USD for a drink. Hmmm....She is ok..nice chatting but think she thinks too much...hmm..maybe its the result of being alone for 8 mths here. I hope I don't end up like that ...kinda weepy I can feel.
A coffee in a nice cafe will set you back about $1.80 to $3 sgd..of cos if you want fanicer drinks..it will cost you about $4, still cheap. Here is kind of cheap where food are concerned.


This was my dinner few nights ago..Was abit nippish even after my snacks in my hotel room. So I saw a street side hawker peddling this downstair outside my hotel so I just tried . Not bad, inside is scrambled eggs and with pork and cucumber, tomatoes and chilli padi! Yeap..so hot till I cried in the lobby cause I was eating it while chatting with Dango. People must have thot why i cried. Anyway the lobby people are used to me after so many days. Last night , 1 ursher is still kind enuff to point a empty sofa seat to me ..haha
Tommorrow I'm going to Phu My Hung to check out an apt to share with a Holland Viet Kiet. Nice gal so far...I guess I need to bunk in with her at least even if we cant share a flat. Sue also invited me to bunk in with her when she is back from US...but she have only 1 bedroom..and she said if I don't mind, can share her king sized bed cause she is not a Lesbian! HA HA HA....the joke is on her. K la, I know I bad.
The two msia gals I'm supposed to meet told me they going for a movie but I had already seen that movie..Here the movie is quite behind time. So i rather buy DVDs. Talking about DVDs, I bought 6 for $9 SGD only! Going to watch with Dango when I'm back.

































Monday, March 05, 2007

Sunday post...

Below is what I wrote in my hotel room before I slept:

Wanted to sleep late today but end up waking early as usual..hmm…went out 11ish to find a cafĂ© to chat with Dango..It was a nice cafĂ©…with gays n I saw the 1st butch here.
I thought about many things…but when it comes to writing down, everything is such a blur…. One of the things I thought about is whether I would I do on weekends after I found a apt. I used to think I will be fine with watching tv and maybe cook abit and do housework but now it seem it will be depressing. Its not the standard of living cause with money, everything can be the same . But yet….

I was telling the msia gal colleague when we meet to have dinner that Im getting irriated walk on the streets cause I do not like being harassed. I feel like I’m being watched all the time when im on the street. I don’t like that. I also nearly got knocked down by a bike today. I am starting to want to hibernate myself. And it dreads me that tomorrow I gotta work. Maybe it’s because I’m not too sure what Im working on now..or rather how to start it. But with familiar stuff, I think I will be feeling better. I feel fake. I feel I have to fake to socialize when I do not like to. But I guess soon my real self will show itself….but yet I don’t like that because I’m very anti social. But with all the pro and cons of socializing, I guess I rather put up with the inconveniece of being lonely.

I suddenly miss dango a lot after my trip to the cafĂ©. I just feel that I have to connect with her again. To be connected so as to be able to express my thoughts whenever I want and to hear her talk about anything. I hope next week fly past…and I can find my apt soon. Time used to be fast at cityindex…maybe cause Im doing my things. I want to start my things asap too…to escape from all these unfamiliar stuff…

Saturday, March 03, 2007

1st post from Vietnam

Sitting at the lobby of my hotel on the 1st saturday since I arrived. Only been here since weds and it has been a whirlwind since. I have some pics which I wanted to load but the IT dept of our company is so strict with what we can do with our laptops. Even MSN is not possible and after some work, I finnaly installed Skype and yahoo messenger. Skype really works well with voice and I have been able to talk with Dango. Know she missed me alot and I missed her too.

My 1st night here was a nightmare as I encountered some "thing" in the room. It had scared me that I didn't slp the 1st nite and went to work the next day feeling so shagged. 2nd night I have to on all the lights and tv and even though I woke like 5 times that night, I was lucky to grab some sleep.

Work is a headache as there are some viet that are not very friendly and cooperative. I really hope I can finish up what I'm expected to do and move on. Some colleague have been helpful esp those that are in different depts.

Im supposed to meet up with my sis friend who is also working here tonite for dinner....abit dreading but im interested to know what he is working as. I'm tired now as I have woke early to run along the riverside....sound nice but its not as the river is smelly and I think Im covered with dust on the way walking back to the hotel. Then I went to look at some apt and was disappointed cause last nite I went to the an colleague place, a malaysian gal working in the same company. Her apt was nice although exp...but at least it was spacious. I guess I have to up my budget if I want a similar place with laundry done for you .

Every night so far I have been staying up late to chat with Dango. Know she is tired too as our time difference is an hr...I think im falling sick...thoart is not well today....haiz...betta dun talk too much tonite.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Counting down....

Its the 2nd last day before I leave for Ho Chi Minh to work...

Had quite an enjoyable time on Sat gatherings with friends and bbqing. And the best of all, I had spent almost the entire of the last week staying with Dango. There are times where it was just mundane stuff while I packed or settling some home stuff for my mum, other times it was hectic running from one place to another.

Going to MacRitchie Reservior that day was indeed a memorable day. I guess we over estimated ourselves when we tempted to go to the Treetop to patoh. Halfway, we gave up after learning it was a 5km hike and moreover with our slippers and sandals, I doubt we can reach there. And while trying to find other path to have a leisure time, came upon monkeys that attacked our bag of snacks! Was impressed by how dango try to scare them off while I quickly try to sneak away. Hmm.... I really don't like monkeys. ( - __ - ") Ha..but I really enjoyed the time sitting inside the paillvion and chit chatting while waiting for the rain to stop. I hope you enjoyed what you wanted for " patohing".

Yesterday was another story. Dango gave me a scare while out lunching before a movie. I'm not scared but more of being very worried when you nearly fainted. It is like a minute we were laughing and talking nonsenical stuff and another minute, all the colors are drained from your face. But the relieve was also as comforting as you regain your own self. Hope you don't have to go thru that again when I'm not around you.

Was just thinking last few days that how we can talked to each other... just simply talking about anything...whether walking outside or nuaring on the bed....talking till we fell asleep. You still have what it takes to make me laugh with your sense of humor ( I know its not humor to you as it's just your skeptical analysis of everything) . It was like that a year ago and even now...I hope we can do that for always.

For now, it is just a temporary inconvenience that we have to put up with in order to have a better , more secure future. To have a ragdoll and a westie ( without the ball head please) for you to play with. I'm not leaving, I'm just going away for awhile. Meanwhile, we are going to have a swell time whenever we meet up - something for us to look forward to. *wink wink*

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Last Day....

I'm alone at the office today...serving my last day here....
Feeling kind of weird....sad.....and maybe in awe of what is ahead of me....
So much memory here....the kind treatment here by the good life as we were spolit by our bosses...the partying and the drinking sessions during the happier times...
Most of all , it is here at this office that I "serenaded" Dango...no singing though...but you know what I mean right * wink wink*

Thinking now..how I loved my pc here with three 19 inch LCDs screens with abilty to chat and download movies and songs thoughout the day....and the director chair..I will miss all these cause I doubt Vietnam will have all these. Listening to the song by Nelly Furtado " All good things come to an end" now....... how appropriate....how sad....

I know the tough road ahead need some time to get used to but I have to do it because I know it's the path paved for me in the cosmic sky....

An end always bring a new beginning...

Monday, February 12, 2007

Sicky weekend

Not so good a weekend cause not only Dango felt worse on friday, I also kena the flu bug... humbug!

*Sniff Sniff* Today at work was like trying to breath thru a straw...stuffocating...but strangely enough, just as the day is ending, my nose cleared...as if it knows that it is going home soon. Ha...

It's sad to see Dango coughing so much that she can't sleep, but I'm glad that dango is feeling better today. Hope that the coming week, we can go patoh as planned instead of staying in most of the time. But actually on looking back, it wasn't bad too..just lazing and sleeping and with Dango hopping down the stairs every 30mins to make sure I'm covered with 2 blankets....*sweat sweat*

Today , my colleague reminded me that its going to be another 5 more days before I say sayora to them all and she will missed me...I can understand how she feels cause I would feel abandoned also if I were her....as the only young female there.

Hm...was shopping with Dango over the weekend for some necessities but I doubt I cover most things..cause today I feel I should bring alot of package soups there to make for dinner as I think I quite a soupy person. Then there are those thoughts that I do not want to think about. Actually I don't like to be reminded that I'm going to Vietnam. To me, its an action that I do not want to spend thoughts on...but just do it. I like to keep my thoughts on the times that I will be meeting Dango and the trip to Great Barrier Reef.... those are the thoughts that is going to keep me sane while I'm there alone. And I will keep my mind on work, my trades, chatting with Dango and taking care of myself and not on the surrounding there cause I don't like the surrounding. I like to think that I'm just going to Tuas island to work and I am just going to focus on what's ahead and mute out all the discomfort that I know is going to hit me. For a start, I'm booked to stay in a hotel for 2 weeks that have history that stretch back to the 70s. Bummer.. and what will I do? I will try to get an apartment by the 3rd day by hook or by crook!

Friday, February 09, 2007

Poor Dango

Know that I haven't been blogging for some time and it is not that I got nothing to write but more of like no time. Settled more of the administrative things for moving over to Vietnam but left alot of packing to do I guess..hmm...

Poor Dango, never see her so sick before...I think she also never been so sick in her whole life before...* Hugz* Guess cause she is hardly sick .... Hope she get well soon then we can go "Patoh". It was so cute that day when she said when she walked pass "Bee Cheng Hiang" with the smell so nice till all the Bah Kwa seem to be waving to her...Hilarious! Especially with her action of waving ...as if so real like that!

Monday, January 29, 2007

Long weekend.....

Initally planned to go sentosa on friday when I took leave but think luckily we decide to go Jurong swimming complex cause 1stly we forgot to bring "Ah John" - dango's swimming ball out...it's no fun without ah john bobbing up and down in the sea. Anyway , had a good time at jurong cause there was practially no people due to the rainy day and it's a friday! haha...we were freezing at times and seeking shelter on and off..but nonetheless, it was fun in the lazy river and in the wave pool. Went for Fish head steamboat for the 1st time and unfortunately I don't feel well if not my appetite will be better .. =<

Hm..tendered on Thursday and the bosses instead offer that I relocate to Sydney because of the new office there. Was very surprised cause I never expected that...but both parties retreat to think over the weekend. I doubt anything of what they say will come to fruitation within 1 mth, so to me, 1 bird in hand is better than 2 in the bush. Moreover, I doubt they can match the vietnam offer in terms of renumeration. Well..we shall see...this career affair of mine seem to have twisthere and twist there...oh...I think our IT guy also just tender today...

Monday, January 22, 2007

Long weekend....

Last weekend wasn't long...but the coming weekend is going to be! ^ _^ Will be planning to go sentosa and nuar then weekend nuar somemore?? hmm....better plan somethings...Got a feeling that I have lots to do ...but it's like everything hinges on something else...

Caught Pan's Labyrinth last weekend, and it was such a amazing show..griping! Me and Dango blur blur sit inside the cinema and thought we entered the wrong cinema when the show started in Spanish with English subtitles because we all along thought it was in English and was abit disappointed. Nonetheless, it was a great movie but Dango got her eyes behind my shoulder most of the time. And to think she loves horror movie ...but yet can't stand grossness. I'm quite the opposite I guess..

Was thinking alot over the weekend...hmm...not sure why..but it's more like pondering about life.... can't really remember it now...but will write it down if melacholy strikes again.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Fate have spoken , what more can I say....

They have counter-offered me more than I asked for....pre-empting any effort of mine to find excuses within myself not to go Vietnam. Fate have spoken and I know it's better to go with the flow and be optimistic because any resistance is going to be futile. I know it is for the better and I'm indeed optimistic although I can't say why.

It's not that I did not want to tell you sooner but its cause I do not want you to fret early.
* Hugz *

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Harmony Combination

Read a "Ba Zi" book in a bookstore today , and it was mostly very deep jargons hence I was just flipping thru and something caught my attention. It mentioned 6 harmony combinations of chinese signs and guess wat?! Dragon and Rooster is one of them! Moreover Dragon + Rooster = Metal which I don't really know what it mean either..but going by that logic , I reckon fire dragon + metal rooster shld be equal fire-like metal which should be GOLD!!! hahaha! Anyway, that's my theory =P

Yesterday was really a super sway day for me. Morning missed a bus, kena knocked by people on bus. Then go home also just missed the bus, reach hme found out car is not available hence cannot go Dango's place as planned . Then house blacked out. Fed up. Quickly just packed my stuff and go over Dango place by train to stay the night. Glad I did =)

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

1st post of 2007....

I wish I could be joyous....but I'm in the office now with slight fever and a blocked nose , a bad cough... Can't believe after 5 days eating doc's med, I'm still like this. Spent the last 5 days at my little Dango's place the whole time... Even though we didn't party nor did exceptional stuff plus I'm so sick....it was 5 days of good fun where we nuar together, had splendid sushi ( I'm impressed with our speed of eating...) , went to old haunts to have gd food, did some 'clearing" of many dvds pending to be watched (finally!). Ya, of cos we catched the fireworks on 31dec... a yearly ritual , haha..

What I most miss during this time? Kissing Dango.. didn't wana take e risk to spread the flu bug to her. Ha, although kissing was off limit...it doesn't mean I'm down and out.. sweating out in bed is a good way to lower down the fever it seems...kekekeke

I know I haven't been writing for sometime. It's not I don't have anything to write..but the stuff that was happening , I felt, wasn't that pleasant...especially it will remind me of the impending sad things that might be happening. Well, I'm offered a job to relocate to Vietnam to work.. Good pay, expatriate lifestyle, gd job prospect. Nothing bad about it , except that Dango can't come with me. That made me half- hearted to whether to accept anot...and I tempted fate. Asked for more renumeration and if they refused, I will have a reason not to go. And if they agree, then I'm fated to go. Still waiting for answer...we shall see....