A bye bye day...

Today me and 2 other colleagues were suddenly called into the bosses offices..and we were told one of them is being made redundant and today is his last day. Although I cant say I'm shocked, I'm truely surprised because I though the restructuring was over.

This boss started this office from london but I can't really say he have been on top of things or know everything when he should. He had a very very good life for 5 years in a way and he knows it. And good things do come to an end ...abruptedly mostly.

On my way back, I was thinking it seems that one can never celebrate the good things to extravangantly because it is like alerting the higher power that you are having too good a life and it will be taken away from you. Look at those who were once rich and famous..usually they will sucrumb to failures eventually. Look at Warren Buffet, richest man in the world, highly successful and yet he still lives in the same old house for 30 years and had only a few suits.

If the price of being rich and successful is that you can't flaunt it ...how many of us can make it? Not many and that's why this dream remains largely as a dream to most people.

Back to my boss, looking at how sad he is and how badly he is taking it( although he did put up a brave front) , I remember my resolve to be independent of paid wages. During the 1998 recession, it doesnt feel good to be transferred around depts and worried whether I will still have money. Thats why I was so determined to be able to make money without depending on anything but myself and trading is the only option. After 5 years now, I am lucky to say I have finally made it and although I won't be super rich, I won't starve too. But maybe its a good thing that I am ok to stay in a HDB . As long life is comfortable with simple pleasures, I do not need to stay in a condo...

How to love a Jelly

June is here and we are going away for a nice 7 days in Cairns...yippeeee....

But until then, there are more work and stress to endure....haiz...the market have been crazy and we have been kept so busy. MY poor eyesight didnt get time to recover before it got worse again...have to endure an 2nd laser again, so scary.

My dream of owning a private property is all but slipping away. All thanks to the silly people pushing up the prices...think I have to wait till 2010 when the horror of rising interest rates forced people to sell off their property. Does this remind you of the US mortgage crisis??

Anyway, maybe its a good thing too so that I can focus on my trading. Things are going so well that I think I could be free of labour work in a couple of years. Then I plan to set a goal to trade $50k USD to $1 million in 5 years time - that would be my ultimate ambition and gratification.

Oh before I forget, there is something I find very amusing that happened a few weeks ago in a bookstore with flabby. We came across a book with a title " How to love a popcupine -a guide to dealing with difficult people" . Flabby show me the book and say do I need it and I said nope. Then she says, " yala, you dont need it, you are one big popcupine yourself."
" Oh, then you better get this book for yourself" I retorted.
"No need, I'm a big Jelly, you can poke all you want! "

Flabby never fail to amuse me.

Maybe I should write a book - How to love a Jelly.

Bad mood, better recall

Lately there have been 2 articles on yahoo which mentioned that researchers find that bad mood make people remembers better. This totally solve a mystery for me : why flabby's memory is bad and why she is always so happy and confident. Me on the other hand , is known as Ms Grumpy and Ms Grouchy with a photographic memory. We can be totally different but yet this complements us. Flabby needs me to refresh her memory and to remember important things ( p.s she uses POST IT in her her wallet!! ) and I need Flabby to entertain me with her joyous antics. I always find it so amazing that someone could be so happy go lucky 90% of the time....especially when she does her cartoon style kind of dance with her arms. Nothing seem to be able to get her down...for long . Most probably already forgotten what bothered her.

As for me, I think its not the bad mood that causes me to have good memories and be careful when doing things. It is actually the opposite -I need to be constantly be careful and remember things ( in the course of my work and trading and for flabby) so much that it actually caused me my bad moods.

Interesting isnt it ? So would it be better if I be more lax in order to improve my moods??

"As long got earn can liao...."

It seems everytime I want to post a entry , I always want to write " how time flies...." so I skipped that this time..

Just felt that its been so long I blogged and although many things have happened , I don't know where to start. Maybe I should try twitter and no wonder it is so popular...

Anyway...life been peaceful and good. Can't complain nowaday as long you still have a job and not in debt. Been scouting for a condo for the last 5mths. It started out as fun and as time goes...it becomes more of a chore as it is so hard to find the ideal one. And when i found it...just got sold! Really crappy....praying that another unit will come into the market soon. Will keep all my fingers , toes and eyes crossed!

Then today, I happily remarked to Flabby that for the month of March, manage to close my trading book up 7.5%. Although down from the 8% in Feb, I'm still quite satisfied as I missed some trades which could have easily taken me to 10%.

And what she says?

Nothing.

Then I prompted her, " How come you didn't ask what is the figure?"

" As long got make can liao ...no need to be too greedy, *pat pat* " came the reply

Hmm.....interesting response I thought. But it can be interpreted as a good response after I thought about it. Here is someone who is not really interested in how much I made. Its a " keep me rooted" kind of response.

And if you read the below paragraph which was extracted out of a chat with my lovely flabby( while I was writing this blog) , one will understand how "rooted" she makes me feel....ALWAYS

G.W says: <----- ME
i tell u ... i thk i will get assasinated
blury says: <----- aka Flabby
ya, i think so too


*bleah*

5 years plan..

2009 - Complete deal to buy a private apt in D09-11

2010 - Continue to grin and bear it in the office.

2011 - Enjoy living in my new apt classy environment for a while.

2012 - After being eligible for HDB, buy a HDB and rent out the apt.

2013 - Quit my job , collect rent and trade for retirement.

Quants

With 2009 just came into the picture, time to do some reflection.

Past To Do List-

To work behind a trading desk - done.

Work Overseas - done.

Head a trading desk - done.

What next?

I'm unsettled, restless , craving for some mind simulation.

Being a quant.

It's not about the money. It's about utilizing, maximising my capacity.

It's recognition that I want now and I know where I am now can't get me that.

The hardest work needs to be done before the recognition is given. But at least now I have a direction.

Something I should remember and live by...

It's far greater to dare to do mighty things, even though checkered by failures, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in a gray twilight that knows neither defeat nor victory....

Weeeeeeeee...

Last sat, i bought flabby a Wii and flabby also bought me a Wii!! Yup...we both bought the same things for each other birthdays! ..........caused we shared it ! haha

Immediately after we installed it, flabby appropriately named it as " Weeeeeee...." as in we. ( but im sure she didn't think of it that way) Nintendo is also very smart to called each character as Mii...as in Me. Flabby created a nice Mii for me and for herself....a very lookalike Mii in a very weird way...but it is so funny!! Everytime i think of her Mii, i cant help laughing.

The Wii is more than funny then fun...we really laughed so much yesterday creating those Mii....

Cant wait to get more games...

after vacation....

Actually I have many times got things to post but always too occupied with something else to really blog. Haiz...

Even now , all I want to say is that everyday seem to be a struggle struggle....maybe i demand to much. Work seems fine..but haiz....



I got cute pics from our US trips to post..so many things like in my mind to write but just either too lazy or too pre occupied to focus on leisure thing....if only I can get my mind to be at peace. Unless that happens, guess everything will still be on the backburner.

But i just want to post these few silly pics before flabby beats me to it..haha...







Looks like her head being beaten by a creature...










....As usual, someone trying to act cute.....

....Looks more like a viking helmet...

As we work each day, seem to miss US more even though we were complaining throughout the trip. But at least we were carefree..

The flights were scary as they were so exhausting...and sickening. But lucky no cancellation or delay flights though.

Will hope to post more soon...

How long have it been since I update

Here I am blogging on a Friday night as that is what I told flabby I would do since I hardly am free nowadays. Today is an exceptional night as Flabby is out with colleagues. This weekend with Flabby will be a short one I guess as I will be out with my ex colleague tml afternoon and only meeting Flabby in the late afternoon...

So much have happened since I blogged ...more in terms of work arena. Was so busy from late May till mid July due to company's migration of system. So bad that I think I was burnt out and suffered from work stress. Lucky saw a doc and seems better now..

Beside that, me and flabby also visited the zoo 2 weeks back and are going to the night safari this Sat ( pray it doesnt rain again). I guess our weekends are usually quite busy although I remember a time when we were quite bored during the weekend..hmm... Nowadays we don't even have time to watch the piling movies that we downloaded...Really not sure where did the time disappear to...

Then very soon, it will be time to go VACATION...can't wait. But nowadays we seem to be too preoccupied to imagine how the trip will be. ...I also quite stress whenever I think of the trip cause so much things I need to familarise again before we go as much of the planning were done quite long ago..Haizzz

Trading have been not bad lately. Pretty excited about the recent US trading ( after a long dry spell)...got an idea and been testing , so far quite promising as it mimic the similar strategies I used successfully in the Singapore and Hong Kong market. Hope there will be good news the next time I blog. Heeee...

1st weekend without flabby flabby...

Actually its not the 1st weekend without flabby...but in singapore context , it is the 1st time. Flabby had went to climb mountain in Kinabalu to shed some flabs...but think she load up on the flabs beforehand liao.. It's been a long long time since I wake up in my own bed on a Saturday and spending a quiet Friday night at home..

Feel weird going to Flabby house as usual after work on Friday but not expecting to see her but just to check on Fartie. Fartie was more dull looking compared to Thursday. Maybe she is bored locked up and maybe she missed Flabby too. But she still hestitate to enter flabby room as usual...haha...all the furry things all stuck at the doorway....

Went to meet some friends for lunch..very nice but talked till thoart very dry....Also feel weird driving in the car without flabby lately ..hmm...think just not used to it bah...

Stop to wonder....

Life is ever so busy, always flowing..so much that people hardly stop to think back how far they have travelled. I happen to think about this especially regarding my career wise.

5 Years back I was struggling to learn how to trade..working partime basis to realise my naive dream of trading forex for a living...earning a pitiful amount of around $1k a month. The struggling never seem to end. I was dreaming of a job called a trader- those people working behind those platforms that I was trying to learn to trade on.... how nice I imagine it must be to be working with trades everyday.

5 Year down the road. I am working behind those platforms where I used to struggle to trade on. I am in fact in charge of the trading desk now with 3 people under me...with me making many trading decisions regarding client's trades fate earning many times over.
.
If I didn't stop to think, I may not have realised I have realised at least 1 dream. It wasn't easy. I was thinking what I did to achieve this.... I cant put a single reason to it. It wasnt one thing I did, and it certainly not because of the way I dress or look. It was just a continous learning of the industry, process of extending/ sharpening my skills and knowledge , exposure to all kind of readings and platform experience from all corners. But I also attribute to luck..because I have been down on my luck before so I know the difference.

It is good to reflect and at least give some gratitude. Humans always find fault with what they have..I have my share of grudges now about life but if the current package was given to me 5 years back, it would have been a miracle. Our perpective is always clouded with complaints , hence it is wise to stop and be grateful for many things.

Treetop

Like blury said...its was finally conquered. However, it was abit of a disappointment cause the scene is just ....a lot a lot of jungle trees thats all. And the hike there was.....1 word...unexpectedly LONG. I would recommend anyone who want to go up there to be prepared as I see alot of people who seem to dress too "nice" to go up there. For us, the weather have been kind as it rained overnight. Kinda muddy but at least not that hot. So I can't imagine if someone chose a typical hot there to climb the tree top..it will be very trying.

The walk back after the treetop of about 5.5 km was kind of numbing as it is just walk n walk without any scenary ( as it is jus walking in the jungle) and too tired to think also. At night I have to put some Salonpas to prevent any muscle cramp the next day.

Also confirm dango's Thunder thigh indeed powerful as it can really walk n walk. Think she shouldn't have much problem for the hike up kinabalu...GAMBATE THUNDER THIGH!!

Been 1 month...

It has been only a month since I moved back to SG for good but life in Vietnam is already like a vague memory to me - something when I think back made me try to remember how I dreaded life then but now.. I am like not doing any better. Guess its the boredom. But soon it will be CNY and time will pass fast....Feb, Mar, April, May..then it would be SEPT - Going US! Now I only dread starting work even though I'm bored because I hate to see a person at work and I think my life would be made terrible by him.

Hmm...I still remember the dreary time when I was working in SG : morning rush to squeeze for bus..and evening same thing. I was thinking then life in Viet with taxi would be so great. Actually it was good in vietnam with the daily shuttle bus in a way. But not good in another way. So much pros and cons in life. So tiring. One moment it is wonderful , another moment it is dreadful.

Humans beings are like this : You see me good, I see you good but the fact is everybody is no good. Everybody have their own headaches, own perspective of " lack of " something. But is it possible to have the "perfect" happiness? The moment in time where everything falls into place and life is perfect? It have to exist since isn't that what we are all looking for? Or are we? I think subconsiously we think we all want the same thing : good jobs, more money, buy a house, buy a car, good health, travel to far places ( and not regional only) , eat good restuarant etc . But on the consious level, most of us are just slugging away not knowing what tommorow brings. Just like a friend said to me," Nobody likes to work but we all have to work." Another advise me, " Don't think so much , don't be stressed up over work security." *headache*

A Slow dayyyy....

Kinda bored today hence thought that I might as well contribute to my own blog.

Hmm..been doing much thinking lately so I will write about that...

Was thinking about what happened throughout this last 1 year... many things happened but yet, it is like nothing afterall.

I had a stable "girlfriend" before I left for Vietnam. But soon, I find that there are other more exciting "plays" out there. Those that need less patience and time and effort and yet seemingly will be "nice" to me . I started a quest to look for such a "gem" and forget about my stable girlfriend.

And when I think I found "the one", I will start to rave about how "she" is suitable for me. But usually after 1 month or less, I will start to get skepitical after some faults that I didn't expect to see. Then maybe I will try to look for someone similar but do not have those faults. Then the history repeat itself again. The latest is being one that can keep me happy 90% of time but during those other 10% of the time, I will really be turned off. Makes me wonder whether will I be better off over a longer period of time or worse off.

That was what set me thinking the last week and I looked at all my the past history.
And it seem that my stable "girlfriend" was the right one all these time. Although have to be patience with her and can only have fun when she allows it, there is no terrible faults to begin with. I did however, "modify her" abit to suit my excitment crave but will have to put up with any side effects there might be. But I still think it is better over the long term. *sigh* This is what I meant that so much yet nothing really changed after 1 year -- back to the same old same old but its nice also as too much excitement makes me hard to sleep too.

Btw, the "girlfriends" I referred to above are all my trading system models.

And yar...I am that BORED to write in this analogy. And I hope Flabby didn't faint.

Once upon a day......

Just last Sunday, I went hiking at MacRitichie Reservior to see the Treetop which everyone say is wonderful. But too bad halfway it rained so we turned back without reaching the peak.
Who did I went with? See for yourself....






IT'S.... IT'S...........

....... FLABBY RED RIDING HOOD!!

Yup...so flabby till can't button up properly!

So nice. so lazy....

Been back for about 5 days ...been so relaxing although I have been running around to do some errands but still it feels better to be back. There is continuity with things I can do with Dango...no more hurry do this cause we have limited time.

It is so nice to lie on the bed and listen to music. So lazy to get up and do my regular stuff.

I AM COMING BACK

Today is my last working day in Vietnam and tomorrow early morning I will be flying back to Singapore FOR GOOD!! It has been 6 weeks since I last seen Flabby. The previous longest record was 5 weeks. Really excited…back to my old life as I used to have…back to everything. Can’t wait to see Flabby….I can stay with her everyday. I can lay beside her and hug her anytime I want. I can share a kiss every night and every morning. WE CAN PLAY TOGETHER AGAIN! Of course I mean play sims la…play facebook la...play fartie la. We can go dinner any where we want. We can go shopping for never-ending groceries anytime. We can go for Herstory nights. We can jalan shopping centres at leisure WITHOUT needing to think when I will leave again. It has been an eventful yet boring year. Thank god the nightmare is over with everything I wanted to accomplished done and heading back home with the bonus I conned ( as put it by Flabby) and with a well paid job heading my way as I planned.

I really missed the comfort in Singapore where people can understand what Im saying.

The sufferings have finally be over and its time to reap the reward.

An article that motivates

Below is an article I find very realistic and it remind me what I have to do ...and keep doing. I can't give up. Sometimes I will be trading smoothly but sometimes I suffer losses . It is no big deal and I shouldn't let it get to me and give up.



Surviving Chaos

Why is it that some people who are very successful in demanding professions have trouble gaining confidence as a trader? Why do some people buckle under pressure, yet others thrive on it? Perhaps because markets are often unpredictable and uncertain; causing some to act impulsively, abandoning their trading plans prematurely. Traders, who are able to weather the storm to make enormous profits, have a combination of characteristics that make them winning traders.
Of course there is no substitute for experience. The winning trader has experience with the markets and with his or her own personality. New traders are very much like beginners learning a new sport, such as skiing or tennis. They haven't experienced the variety of events that may come up. They see the market as a structure of random movements. The winning trader sees structure in what others see as chaos. Over time, comes an intuitive feel for the markets. They can sense when particular market conditions have emerged and they know that the odds of success are on their side.
Uncertainty is anxiety provoking and new traders succumb to the fear. When they are ready to put on trades, they aren't calm and focused; they are scattered and afraid. Winning traders, in contrast, have experience, and confidence. They know that the odds are in their favor, and that if they make enough trades under these ideal market conditions, they will come out ahead. Since they know that in all likelihood that they will succeed, they are calm and relaxed. Of course there are no guarantees, but they truly believe that it won't be the end of the world should they hit upon a series of losing trades. Should they encounter the worst-case scenario, they know they will live to trade another day and make the losses back.
When a trader has genuine trading skills, he or she knows that there is little to worry about in the long run. He or she is never stressed out. The uncertainty and unpredictability of the markets that produces stress in the new trader is seen as excitement and opportunity by the skilled, seasoned trader. The more trades you make, the more success you enjoy, the more likely you will gain experience and hone your trading skills. It will not happen over night, but it will happen eventually. In the meantime, you might as well accept your fate and patiently wait until you build up superior skills and confidence. If you stay optimistic, working hard, you will gain valuable market experience, and survive the chaos.

Finally here comes the end of the year....

December is finally here....I am looking forward to it for more than 1 reason. Firstly of course is I am going back sg for good..another reason is that Dec 11 was a day in astrology that is supposed to meant something. In fact, I am mixed about Decemeber as it is the most eventful month in terms of cosmic activities : many planets are moving in December and with so many of them moving, the cosmic sky is anything but peaceful. There will be good as well as bad things and they will certainly not go unnoticed thats for sure. I guess all we can do is just be more careful in everything we do.

The crossing of a New Year also cast a dark sky as Mars meet Pluto. Mr Aggression meets Mr Death. War? Terrorism? Hmm....